StillWatersIowa: Big Shoes To Fill

What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice. What are little boys made of? Frogs and snails and puppydog tails. Wow. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine who got the better end of the deal in that little poem.

We as guys have big shoes to fill. On the one hand we are to be tough, strong, a problem solver, and a good provider. On the other hand we are also supposed to be tender, caring, and supportive of our spouses.

For the most part we have the good provider and problem solver part down pat. As guys we put in long hours, mark things off our list, and feel good about a hard days work.

The part I've needed improvement on over the last 37 years is to slow down and take time for the people I love. The following advice are things I have worked on over the years and hopefully am getting a little better at.

Often times it seems us guys help everyone except the folks closest to us. Our wives sometimes feel like they need to call us on our phones to make an appointment for quality time. Below we are taking a break from custom soybean harvest to enjoy supper together compliments of Evelyn, the mother of the farmer we are working for.

Past arguements are water under the bridge. Don't dwell on them. Often times the subject being discussed was minor details to start with. I took this picture on the way to Quincy,Ill with a load of soybeans. Although it has been replaced with the new Ave of Saints four lane I think this is the last bridge to cross the Des Moines River before it dumps into the Mississippi near Keokuk.

I can build ponds, pour concrete, and plant trees. Having said that I am horrible at taking time to fix door handles, window screens, and bathroom faucets. My shower has had a vicegrip for a hotwater handle for the last several years. Although it works great Jan is not impressed. She probably worrys our house will look like this someday. Jan is a trooper about fixing things herself or hiring someone so it gets done. The house below sits in the middle of a ranch just northwest of Waldon, Co.

Guys, we forget all the responsibilities our gals have. Alot of their work is never finished because they do things that have to be done over and over again such as kids, laundry, cleaning, and meals.

Speaking of meals, just because you have the ability to eat the whole cassorole in 5 minutes doesn't mean you should. It probably took your wife hours to prepare it. Plus your family would love some quality time. Below Jan fed about eighty USDA and soil conservation folks from all over the country. They were having their national conference and came to visit some local coalmine reclaim sites.

Take the time to include your wife in activities. At least remember to invite her. Below Eric and his wife Barb stopped by and we had a great time catching up. Barb is the daughter of Dr. B who helped us out as an interm principle at Pella Chr. High Sch. for a year. Eric is the president of Dordt College in Sioux Center.

I heard Dr. Gary Chapman say one time all of us have different things that fill our tank, relationship wise. The five love langueges he mentioned were affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Guys, you probably know what your wife appreciates. Don't forget to fill her tank.

I couldn't ask for a better spouse. She knows I am a work in progress. I also have a most wonderful daughter and five awesome daughter-in-laws. They all went shopping together yesterday.