Being Weak

I'm starting our visit this morning with my favorite picture of the week. This gal has been totally supportive; postponing her own troubles, thoughts, and anxieties. The yard, cabin, and flower pictures I'm using this morning are kudos to her for everything she does around our home. Thanks for the picture Emily.

Last Monday I was admitted to Mahaska Hospital for the first time since I had left this same hospital as a new born baby 69 years ago. I had surgery to remove a cancerous mass that was growing both on the inside and outside of the colon.

Just before the four and a half hour surgery Dr Jesse, myself, and a physician's assistant prayed together.

When we talk to God He doesn't promise to remove all our struggles. He does however promise to be the strong One. He says in the Bible, "My grace is all you need. And My power is made perfect in your weakness". II Corinthians 12. I'd like to highlight a few blessings I received this week as a result of God's presence. God's power. God's purpose. And my weakness.

The most obvious is allowing and watching others be blessed by giving and caring when one is weak.

There is a tenderness that can occur when one is weak that doesn't always happen when we feel and act strong.

There is a more intense noticing of others and their serving and caring when one is weak.

There is a total satisfaction of watching others step up and make things happen, knowing with my current limitations, I have no one to please, and can rest. Thanks for the picture Kasey.

There is a more intense gratitude to God and others. I walked the hospital halls. Occasionally I'd stop in a fellow patient's room. Just a word of encouragement and an offer to pray. 100% of the time a hand would reach for mine. I wasn't a strong healthy family member or friend. I wasn't a strong nurse or doctor providing care. I was a fellow, weak, hurting, patient with the same gown on they had.

Will I be strong again? I'm planning on it, Lord willing. I'm still waiting on lab results from the lymph nodes around the surgery. Joshua was 80 or close to it when God had him take the Israelites across to the promised land. And He told Joshua to be strong and courageous 3 times in one visit.

What about Jan? She had a more detailed MRI this week. And has appointments with brain surgeons out of town in the coming month.

Thanks for your dozens of visits. Thanks for your hundreds of spoken and written words. And thanks for your multitude of prayers on our behalf. All are felt and truly appreciated.

Living The Dream

It was foggy and raining the last morning we rode side-by-sides in South Dakota last week. By the time we stopped in Lead for fuel, then through Deadwood, and 13 miles north on Hwy 14A to Camp 5, it was raining steady. We were all wet. When arriving at the trailhead at the base of  one of the Black Hills, Jan heard a grandchild say, "Wow, this is living the dream".

But first things first. A week ago yesterday close to 40 of our immediate family headed to South Dakota to Cody and Tori's wedding. It was held in RiverTree Church in Mitchell. After a honeymoon, Tori starts her job as a Registered Nurse in Sioux Falls. Cody works at Fareway in Sioux Falls and continues his education as a Physical Therapist.

A week ago this morning, with Ethan driving the semi, and many cousins waiting their turn to ride with him, we left Mitchell and headed for the Black Hills. Thanks for the picture Stacy.

Our rented home for the week fit all of us comfortably. It was in a newer development just north of Lead. The name of the home was Diamond in the Rough.

Becky or one of the girls would usually get the four coffee pots ready the night before. And I would turn them all on early the following morning.

After a delicious breakfast ranging from eggs, pancakes, ham, sausage, or bacon, fruit, and cinnamon rolls, 40 sandwiches, a whole box of assorted chips, and a large cooler of drinks were prepared for the noon meal on the trails.

The boys would make a plan and destination for the day. We rode close to 200 miles of roads, trails, and paths within a 50 mile radius of where we stayed. We'd stop for lunch anywhere from an old cemetery, to along a creek, lake, or waterfall. And yes, the younger kids would inevitably jump in and get wet in 50 degree water.

After a large supper, we would all get together for devotions. One evening everyone was asked what one word they would like, or set a goal for, to describe themselves. Words ranged from, available, genuine, caring, attentive, rooted, to faithful, present, warm-hearted, etc.

Another evening I read from Proverbs 30 where the author shares he is weary. And asks God for not too much, or he will become proud, or not too little, that he might steal. I shared that after my diagnosis, I was at peace, and had asked God that He be honored, no matter what the outcome. Then 10 days later my wife Jan was diagnosed with a brain tumor. And I said, "Wait a minute God. What's the deal?" It always hurts more when someone you love is sick.

On the final night Mark read from II Corinthians 12 where the apostle Paul asks God three times to remove the thorn in his flesh. God answered Paul by telling him that His grace is all Paul needs. Mark asked Brian to read a devotion that talked about how God's power works best in our weakness. If I'm able to write next week we'll talk about handling weakness. And receiving help rather than giving it. Six year old Lane is holding eight week old Rosie after devotions.

After devotions the middle age cousins would play poker, while the younger cousins played UNO. Us adults would either join in, read, or visit.

Does God communicate with us in nature? Yes. In scripture and prayer? Obviously. With nudges? Yes from experience. Does He communicate with us in hardships? Absolutely. 

Living the dream is celebrating the past and anticipating the future. Living the dream in the midst of hardship requires gratitude. 

My friends in Israel have a Hebrew saying: Dayenu (die-ea-new). It means, "If there is nothing else, It is enough". It reminds us that we are forever grateful for the opportunities we have already been given.

Jan and I are celebrating the past, enjoying each others' company now in the present, and yes, we are both anticipating the future. Thanks to so many of you that are encouraging us in both spoken and written words, and with your prayers. The prayers and caring are truly felt.

A bit of an update: Jan is anticipating a more detailed MRI soon, and then hopefully an appointment with a brain surgeon either in Des Moines or Iowa City. I am scheduled for colon surgery tomorrow morning in Oskaloosa.

What's Your Status

Maybe a better title for this week's visit could be, What's your state of affairs. Last week we mentioned my diagnosis with colon cancer. With more news this week I'm reminded of an analogy a friend showed us recently.

Let's say this roll of rope is your life. And every inch is a decade. Now put a black mark on how long you think you might live. I marked at 8 inches, or 80 years.

We are all busy with so much life to do. We might make 90 years. Or our life on earth could be over closer to 70, or 60, or even earlier. All of our years on earth have been predetermined.

Now let's take that rope of life and cut off how old we are. Years already in the past. With me pushing 70, and my life expectancy mark at 80, I only have an inch left.

How will I best live that last inch? Like this past week, receive love, caring, and promised prayers, from so many family and friends. I hope to continue to love Jan and family. I hope to continue to bless others with sharing. I pray I can honor God even though I'm imperfect.

Another family story where our summer took a turn: After coming home from the fair Wednesday night and giving out free grandstand raceway tickets to the 4-H kids, I told Jan, good-night, and fell asleep. Very early in the morning Jan woke me and suggested we go to the ER.

After hours of tests, a CT scan showed Jan has a meningioma tumor about the size of a golf ball in the upper left part of her brain. Now Jan and I realize our diagnosis's aren't necessarily terminal. We are going to continue to enjoy each other's and our family's company.

However someday, maybe decades, maybe soon, we are all going to die. So what's all the decades in the rest of the roll represent? Folks, that's eternity. After we leave earth we will go to either eternal reward, or eternal judgement.

So, if you are on your first decade, middle age years, or senior citizens, what's your status for eternity? If you've accepted Christ's gift of salvation, make the rest of your years count. If you're hoping, nope. If you're trusting in you're own good life, that won't work. Through those decades of living we all fall short. If Christ is knocking, please let Him in.

"Look, I stand at the door and knock. If you hear My voice and open the door, I will come in, and share a meal together as friends". Revelation 3:20 NLT

What Matters Most

What really matters most in your life? Health, Status, Purpose, Passion, Work, Financial security, Education?

The crop in southeast Iowa looks good. Hopefully our start of harvest is just 8 weeks away. With new crop corn prices at a 5 year low does one continue to invest dollars for more bushels? Or decide to cut cost? We are currently in the fungicide season where helicopters, airplanes, ground rigs, and drones spray on products to keep the crops safe from possible bugs and diseases.

This is a picture of the corn market. For the last 15 years prices have ranged from the mid $8/bu. to the low $3/bu. Breakeven cost to grow a crop of corn these days is around $4.50/bu.  

Kudos to Jackson, Jayden, and Lane for helping their Dad change oil in their Polaris side by side. Thanks for the picture Kurt.

Kudos to Brynn and Sydnie for helping their Dad count the new pigs coming in. Thanks for the picture Karl.

Kudos to Malaki, Jayden, Jackson, Harris, Lane, Brynn, Hazel, and Sydnie for helping Grandma load and haul buckets of river rock for a landscaping project.

Because of a generous invite from Jon, Glenda, and families, Jan and I were invited to Lake Thunderhead for supper and a birthday get-together for a couple of boys.

Since we were in Indianapolis this past week for Becks Summer Camp, and since we were the beneficiaries of the generosity of the Becks family, Jan and I went to Gainbridge Fieldhouse to watch the Indiana Fever and Caitlin play basketball. And yes, Caitlin gets pushed, shoved, and knocked to the floor by opponents, with very few calls from the officials. And Coach Stephanie gets a technical foul when she sticks up for Caitlin. Yet Caitlin continues to play with character and class. Caitlin isn't just an Iowa girl playing professional basketball. She is redefining it. And her peers in the WNBA don't like it.

Sometimes one has to get away from home to appreciate what matters most. The traffic in Indy is terrible. I'm now so thankful we live on a gravel road in rural southern Iowa.

When you look homeless folks in the eye, you can see actually how young they are in spite of their old looking appearances. It's so gratifying to be given an occupation I love. It's also by the grace and help of God that I'm not sitting on the sidewalk, smoking weed, without a purpose.

It's also by the grace of God that we have friends that have accomplished much. Since we were not able to attend The Family Leadership Summit Friday I attended a Thursday evening pre-event. And was able to catch up with many friends, including Joel. Joel is an American-Israeli evangelical that has written 16 novels about terrorism and Bible prophecy. He and Lynn have four sons and live in Israel.

In spite of what happens, what matters most here on earth is our faith, our families, our relationships, and our love for God and others. Wrapping up this morning, our summer's path has taken a turn. After a lower scope exam due to some abnormalities, Dr Jesse found I have Colon cancer. I do not get emotional about having cancer. God has determined my days on earth since before I was born.

I do get emotional however about being loved. I cry when I feel and see how folks care. What matters most after this life is I get to spend eternity with my Heavenly Father, my family, and hopefully all of you. Let's talk more about this next week.

He will hold me fast. He will hold me fast. For my Savior loves me so. He will hold me fast.

Willpower

Willpower is the ability and determination to do difficult things. It is also the ability to give up short term gratification for one's long term purpose.

Grit and gratitude are the antidotes for a lack of willpower. So if the mower-conditioner breaks down, or the sprayer is misbehaving, or the markets are low, or our week doesn't go as expected, we focus on persistence and acknowledging and appreciating for the good things that happen. 

We sprayed for bugs on alfalfa acres this past week. 3rd cutting is about a week away. We also finished custom spraying 2nd pass soybeans.

We hauled both old crop corn and soybeans for others. The lower markets are reflecting the possibility of a large new crop pollinating in the field right now under ideal conditions here in southern Iowa.

The guys continue to mow grass hay for ourselves and others. Below I brought Kasey fuel one evening south of Eddyville.

Karl and family are getting in weaner pigs. Farming is a great place to help your Dad, like Malaki and Sydnie are doing. Thanks for the picture Karl.

The next few weeks are fair time all over rural America. It's a time of comradery and community. Kudos to the willpower of the volunteers and fair boards that make these events happen.

Becky and Brian's Zach came on the 4th of July to help Jan and I with projects. One of his more interesting jobs was to cut out some onery willow trees that continued to grow under water in our pond across the road. The yellow rope was attached to his hand tree clippers in case he dropped it.

Last evening around 90 extended family members came for our cousins reunion. Kudos to Doug and Ginger, Alan and Joyce, and Beth and Dan. At a service before supper, sister Beth and cousin Joni led a song service with their daughters. Brother Doug did a great job of using that 1962 picture of our grandparent's 45th anniversary to remind us to be thankful for God's faithfulness even during tough times. And to make good use of what time we have left here on earth. So obviously Grandpa Bill and Grandma Tinnie are gone. All 10 of their children and spouses (our parents) are gone except my mother and Aunt Marilyn. And 12 of my 40 cousins have passed away. However an additional 3 generations from our cousins were here, including our great-granddaughter Rosie.

So when lightning strikes (hardships and tough times), what happens to our willpower? Will we continue to grow and just have a scar like this tree below? Or will it split us? Grit and gratitude come only with God's help and by His grace. Blessings.